I read my friend's blog, titled "A message to My Sister"... it was very touching and personal.
whatever she said was true... and i felt the pain, coz i am, like her, the first born child... i feel the same like her.
Its harder to be the eldest. coz, as the eldest.. whatever u do, counts.
and mostly, watever u do... is wrong.
i, too, wish there were an elder than me to show me, guide me and help me. In the end, the hard truth digs in... i do not have any. talk bout Wishes that can't be true.
I treaded the rough and windy road, rocky and thorny path, got lost in the ocean of choices and drowned in own greed.... to pick myself up all again... just to survive in this cruel and twisted society!
I can understand how she felt for her younger sister... i have a sister too... and i really wish she wouldn't walk my path.. but she already did.
so my sister will feel the pain i gone through, walk the path i walked... and suffer... and somehow... LEARN. (hopefully) like i did. thank god we don't have another younger sis.. or it would be passed down.. ugh.
i feel like a loser all the time. i feel i am showing bad examples to my sister.. but how am i to shut my own needs? just to show a good example? i don't know why, but i just can't... give up what i want.
i am so sorry gwen, for the wrong doings i did... please, just please... don't follow my wrongs.. take my advice, and lead to a better life. you deserve better than this life u are having now.
u deserve to be free and not controlled. please, don't give up ur education for a bf.. like i did! and i have to carry this regret for my entire life.. i could've gotten to a better college, and it was a scholarship, GWEN! SCHOLARSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i should've ignored what HE said and went on to a better college in KL... I SHOULD'VE! but i did not................ and i really really REGRET...
and i will regret...for my entire life.
please, don't ignore the chance of getting a good education just coz ur bf tell u its too far..
we are lucky, gwen. we are born with only 3 years of difference, and we could connect and understand each other, and we could rely on each other... unlike my friend, whose sister is too young to understand anything.
count the blessings God has showered on us... we are truly lucky.. to have the best mom on earth..
gwen, you know? no matter wat, i will alwiz have a soft spot for you?
but please dont pandai pandai use me ok! =_=






