~[A]nn[H]ime~

the RANDOM word vomit.

2011-11-13T16:24:00.000+08:00

Lalalala... i'm getting fatter day by day, despite me knowing this, i still eat like i dont care.
i somehow feel that it has to do with my shattered ego, someone broke it into pieces.
i really dont know why i am so annoyed yet thrilled...

I feel lazy everyday. feels like i am having some kind of sickness every other day. I cough,sneeze, have fever, but i know the sickness i am talking bout or feeling bout is not the normal virus infections...

its more... terrifying than that.

i;ve gone through much, kinda tired of it all, but still somehow couldnt satisfy my hunger and needs.

i've lost something, but i dont know what it is~ ~~still searching for the answer...~~
I've gained something, but i dont know how to appreciate it... ~~its so stupid of me...~~

I'm confused but i am clear of what i am supposed to do... ~~so i do it...~~
I'm angry with the fact that people has to stop my path.. ~~but i'd break the wall~~
I'm avoiding a bloody battle when i know i can win the war... ~~and i did...~~
I'm convinced that someone out the cant stand the mere sight of me. I undestand.. ~~so look away.~~

i dunno wat title to put.

2011-09-06T11:48:00.000+08:00

seriously. i have lost touch with my creative ideas on what to type in a blog. sometimes i feel like closing this blog down and opening another one.

but there are plenty of memories here. i mean in this blog.
I jot down probably 60% of the happenings in my life here.
somehow, i dont sound so addicted to blog anymore right? haha!
but truly, some of my deepest darkest secrets and revealed here.

~~just that, some of them aren't posted up for anyone to view it. its still in "draft" mode...~~

i know it sounds ridiculous, i have a friend telling me to go get a diary to jot down secret stuffs and stash em some where...

I HAVE THEM. and most of them sounded so childish that i myself, is laughing at the content.

but those are true feelings from me, at that time. i was angry, depressed, happy, confused!!!
it was the memories i value. since the tonsil operation, i've forgotten half my childhood, had to remember it by people reminding me (like telling me stories and stuff) refreshing... refreshing my damn memory.

why cant i have the damn amnesia AFTER i've ditched the asshole huh?! at least i can forget his STUPID voice, SHARP tounge and ANNOYING FACE!!! ~~*punches wall*~~

i can see that i complain most of the time in this blog.
i dont think i will stop complaining. EVER.

~~see, this whole post kinda feels like i am complaining anyway.....~~

Genting Trip 23/8 to 26/8~~

2011-08-28T08:02:00.003+08:00

WELL the title says it all! ^^
yea, my lao gong and i went to genting to stay for 4 days and 3 nights. it was a wonderful trip overall...
slept off in the bus for almost the entire journey hahaaha~~ it was funny i can even play games on my laptop in the bus~~ that was when we were about to reach~~ XD

checked in the hotel pretty fast... coz i've booked the hotel rooms online, using the green card.. so we can use the check-in kiosk, which is simple and fast!~ no need for the hassle of waiting~~ haha!

i was quite shocked that we got the room on the 27th floor. YEAH U HEARD ME RIGHT. 27th!!! my favourite number, and the highest floor was 28!!! IMAGINE the height!

when we arrived at the room door, we did our lil ritual of knocking the door before entering.. its been a belief that the knocking of the door is to give respect to the ones "living" in the room~ telling that we are entering~ and asking them to "give way" to us who are gonna be there for a short period of time..

I flushed the toilet, since my lao gong is the one who knocked the door. (another belief, but i dont know the reason) and went straight to the window, coz i am VERY curious to see how high it is, (i havent stayed in the 2nd highest floor before so far...)
AND IT WAS DAMN SCARY!!! haha~ XD

first day was a blur, coz we dont know where to go... and in the end, we went to eat and drop by the casino~~ of coz.... we gambled... LOL! its like a temptation.. u cant just stand there and watch other people gamble!~ you would want to try your luck as well! but sadly, our luck is not today.. lost bout 300~ LOL

but its okay.. coz my sister joined us in genting~ she arrived at night! and we sat at starbucks chit-chatting away~ ^^ I AM JUST so HAPPY to see her~ XD coz i've been missing her lately...

************
2nd DAY~
THE BEST DAY of the entire trip!~ the sun is shinning, nice weather, no rain~ A DAY FILLED WITH FUN, SCREAMS,and LAUGHTER! XD

I accomplished my goal on this very day, which is to ride all the thrill rides. ^^ I LOVE SPACE SHOT! got caught on video screaming like a mad woman! XD it was AWESOME! triple AWESOMEness XD

Flying Coaster is another thrill ride i really love.. the feeling of flying~~ haha... just amazing. almost lost my voice screaming my heart out! LOL
Cockscrew is a classic ride... the double 360 is all i longed to feel... haha!my sister was so nervous, she got on the ride and started mumbling "scared la weihh..." "nervous la weihhh..." >w< haha!!!

THE BEST WAS THE LOG RIDE >w<
my lao gong knew, that the log ride will drench us~ and he refused to get on the ride.. but i wanted to ride it! (never been on it) so me, my sis and reuben got on the log and held on each other~ and then CAME THE SPLASH!!!! OMG i didnt know we will be THIS drenched!!! LOL LOL LOL we were quite evil coz we actually laughed at the couple behind us who were wearing only t-shirts.. haha!! we were being total monkeys, swinging the boat side to side, singing "row,row, row your boat~ gently down the stream~~" LOL
the second splash was WORSE, coz it was a bigger one... and rueben's shoe masuk air... LOL

I realise, many ppl actually used to look up to me...

2011-08-11T10:50:00.000+08:00

yeah, not being thick-faced or anything, but i somehow realise, there used to be people who looked up to me. follow in my footsteps, act the way i acted and wanted what i wanted.

now they are all grown up, all changed, became someone else and someone special and talented......

while i sit at the side bench and watch them achieve success one after another.
i used to be the leader of the group, but now i am cast aside for them to lead on another group.

useless huh?
amazingly, i know i never lost respect for myself. (hopefully some still respects me)
no matter how disappointed i am with my life and my achievements, i never once think i am the worst of the lot... coz i know, there are people that are a lot worse than me.

i am certainly proud that once upon a time i was being first at something, no matter how messed up it was, i am happy that i went through that phrase of life.

certainly, its impossible to regain that feeling now since i have no one to lead anymore. LOL!!
but i guess its fine, i can still lead myself to the path i want to thread upon...

*************
I know i am a very direct person, and those who knows me well, or had the chance to communicate with me would know that i am a direct person. i hate beating around the bush (unless i am trying to prank a person or i am digging secrets).. so why do people have to be "offended" by what i say? knowing fully well i wont compliment someone unless i mean it, and i wont give face if u did something wrong... (and the same one again and again)................ who wont get fed up and screw ur ass up??

*************
I like compliments. even those that has a sarcastic tone to it. why? it brightens my day. I like how the Brits will go when (lets say) you finished a project.. "WELL DONE! you did a GREAT JOB!"

see how THAT compliment puts a smile on your face immediately?
Too bad, being Malaysians, we were brought up in such a negative environment. even when u achieve something, the parents will not say what the brits would say...
for example, a 12 yr old kid came home telling the mother bout the results.

child: Mom!! i got 5 As in the mid term exam! look look!
Mom: oh really? *grabs report card and scan through it*
Child: So, can i have the PS2 you promised me? >w< *high in hopes and anticipation*
Mom: 5As also no use, you are not in the TOP 10 of the class! You are number 14 in the class, still not good enough! no PS2 for u!

Child: *shocked*

=_= what happened to the compliments, the rubbing of the head, the SMILE to the child for something achieved...etc etc???

I AM SO thankful... MY mom wasn't like that.

**************************
~**[Hi]Me**~

Now... 11/7/2011~~~

2011-07-11T21:41:00.000+08:00

Its one of those days where I have nothing much to say, nor any particular topic to blog about...

upon completing 4 orders of yukatas, I have been rewarding myself generously to Maple Story gaming, sushi eating and quality time sleeping. HAHAHAHAHAHA. yeah i am happy. for all the hardwork i've done, to see the results are like finishing the icing design on a 3 storey tower cake... SWEET and BEAUTIFUL.

One of my BELOVED creations, which i actually tried to do for the FIRST TIME, its a Wa-Loli... ^^

:::: Wa-Loli is a type of Lolita fashion, which infuses Japanese Kimino's designs (be it fabrication or patterns) into the clothing. :::::

haha.. i dont have make up on.. but i like this pose!!! XD

To show off the lace and the leggings!!!

This is a Male Yukata.. yeah, simple.... (i know) LOL

how the back looks like. Notice the Obi... its 4 metres long! CAN U IMAGINE!!! =_=

Well, I am actually doing a small business on facebook... i have my page, CLICK >>>>> butterflyhime27 <<<<< to see. ^^

for this bon odori, I noticed alot of people are actually looking for yukatas for the event, but had to let the idea go coz the yukata is too darn expensive (to order online) or cant be found (in Penang, etc) or its a last min purchasing. haha! NEXT YEAR, I am planning to sell Pre-made Yukatas.. so I am looking forward for a good year next year!!! YAHOOOOO!!! XD

so this year,
I am also doing cosplay costumes... MAINLY coz of Comic Fiesta 2011.

on the list now is

1) Naruto costume.. Deidara -my cousin
2) A French Dress... (original french dress like for a duchess).. a customer..
3) more naruto costumes by my cousin's friends
4) an anime char suit, by a friend...
5) and MY OWN COSPLAY COSTUME!!!! >w< hahahahahah!

Things are getting busy, but i feel its worth every single pain and sweat once i see the END results. ^^

just another day, another worry

2011-06-15T14:28:00.000+08:00

there is endless things for me to worry about. i worry bout my weight, my body size, my love life, my money, my this my that...

gosh, lucky my white hair production is slow, or else i'd have a head full of white hair!!!!

i cant stop worrying... and if that is not a terrible crime already, i have more worries!
recently lao gong is being very active, socially. he found the joys of using fb as communication tool... and recently have connections with some school mates..... which kinda worries me... coz he is talking bout meeting them someday already..

=_= why cant i actually be from co-ed school. then it will get to him like it gets to me righttttt... ok i being totally self-absorbent here. haha!

is this jealousy? yeah.. i think it is... the changes in his manner of speech worries me.. it seems that his heart is shifting... ugh..

if there is a break up, i would like to be the one calling it off. i hate being dumped. if theres any dumping, i want it from me. lol. i am that bad.

sigh.... what am i to do? i cant hide the jealousy feeling from him coz he ade feelin it~~~ shyt.

help!!!

just be friends~~ lalalala~

2011-06-15T14:16:00.000+08:00

this song got stuck on my head recently. thanks to my sis. =_= LOL

although the meaning of this song is kinda sad, the tune is so upbeat haha!~

i;ve been down with high fever for 3 to 4 days i think, i am not exactly sure how long. but my bf said it was for about a week i was having fever. A WEEK! imagine man. wtf.
why am i so weak... =_= seriously weird man.

post number 241....

2011-06-02T02:00:00.000+08:00

since i started blogging, almost everything i say seems negative, uncontrolled and somewhat immature...

and reading back, i realise, some things that i say does not reflect my true feelings and desire....

i am starting to doubt i got the guts to tell something so straightforwardly-truthful to anyone anymore LOL

i am getting bored being someone i think i was, and i am not convinced i am actually liking the new me.

yeah, this is gonna be another freaking negative blogpost. i have no regrets being who i am really, its just sometimes, i tend to feel left out and unwanted. sometimes, i feel like i am not in the spotlight anymore.. and that "sometime" might be a longer time than i thought would be.

nope, i am not interested to look for any guys anymore... nor am i looking for richness and fame...
i just want to feel wanted, sometimes.

obviously this feeling is kinda deep and dense for some people to understand... which is not making me feel any better.

oh well. the world does not consists of only me. i have to share it with 7 billion other people...

only in my world, can i ever be happy.

haha...

2011-05-04T10:11:00.000+08:00

ah... i am back here ranting craps again...

ok i got to discuss bout the "stresses" or "problems" that WANTS me to be fat.

I cant seem to think of anything suddenly, when i have to address my stress. perhaps my mind is in denial, and wants me to think everything is ok... thats why i dont seem to remember what is the reason behind me fighting with my bf/mum/sis/anyone after the fight. my brain just shuts it out totally.... and thats... not really good.

***************
OK FOCUS!

whats the reason(s) that makes my body feel it needs to be fat?!
UGH >.<

ok maybe i just list what comes to my mind.
*note, this is honesty, may hurt some peeps, so just dont take it to heart yeh... *

1) I feel unimportant all the time. no matter what i do or say, i always feel i am a "number two". ok i kiasu i admit.... lalalalala~

2) I always compare myself with others. perhaps its my defense mechanism, i feel i have to be in the spotlight all the time, but people just wont put me there! so i put myself there. WAHAHAHAHAH. so i compare. especially with my sis. lalalaala~~~

3)weird.. i feel happy alone sometimes. with no one bugging me and all, i can do/say watever i want. i feel free. i never liked to be controlled by anyone.. hahaha... (whats the connection of being fat? >.<)

4)um..... wat else... =_= emotional abuse eh.... yup,i'm kinda used to have emotional abuse already. no matter what i do, whether right or wrong, people will just blame me. yeah, blame me for being kaypo with their problems, blame me for helping them after i helped them, blaming me for giving them suggestions that they took but wound up wrong coz of their own stupid actions... its easier blaming me, so they made me a scapegoat.

5) mental abuse.... [perhaps more from my late granny].... she never liked me since i was a kid. even if i brought home better results than my sis, or do something better than her, my late granny will just favour her more than me. i am physically abused by her as well, [how would u feel if u were chased around the house with a knife?]... even after she passed away, maybe i am used to the abuse, and allow others to abuse me like that as well. =_= ok i sound like a total dumbass now.

6) friends... who dont think i am important enough to contact unless they have problems to discuss. oh dont get me wrong, i love to listen to my friends, but at least spare me some kindness and ask ME how i feel sometimes, u know what i mean?

ok i am gonna wrap this up.

no matter how i write of u...

2011-04-30T03:49:00.001+08:00

i still will love u...
although the love is not as deep as before, although it has actually gone sour a little... i couldn't let you go completely.

I know, i whine alot and make u go crazy..
but hey, this is me.. and if u cant accept me as how i am now.. u got to be ready to accept i might leave you alone anytime soon.

coz i will not and cannot tolerate someone like my ex at all. i never liked someone to control my doings, i dont like someone to tell me what i SHOULD be interested in, i hated and loathed the idea of dressing up to your ideals.

if i wanna wear a yukata out to someplace, just be happy i wont invite u together with me.

coz i know you never liked me in japanese costumes.

but what can i do bout that huh?

i'll just be patient.

hopefully you will understand my otaku-ness and everything! coz i really love those stuffs! i know its weird in your eyes and will (probably) make u feel ashamed...

but how come my mom is not ashamed of me? i wore the top part of the yukata (*yah, the one with the dangling sleeves) to a facial and my mom didn't protest a word!

i wore the same yukata to my grandmother's house and all the aunty and uncles praised me when they found out that i MADE that yukata (top)...

i wonder what is making u loath at the fact i love these stuff?

i seriously don't get it.

hime's dream....

2011-04-19T20:21:00.001+08:00

I dreamt of my dad last night.
and it hurts coz when i wake up, the dream was so real i thought god has given my dad back to me.
i only opened my eyes to the blazing sunlight that pierced my eyes... and reality hit me.

**the dream**
I was running around everywhere, hoping, searching, panting... to see my father.
i only managed to scream "WHERE's MY DADDY?! where is HE?!" to my aunty and uncles that gathered at some place i am not famillar with. One of my uncle asked me to calm down and pointed me to a door. I stared at the door for a moment. Is he really in there??? i asked myself.. but i pushed open the door anyway..

and there he was! my dad! he was trying to calm a crying baby.. and the baby was lying down, struggling hard with the tears and snorts that was building up coz of the crying.... my dad looks at me and called out my name.. "NICKY! oh good.. help me, pls..." and pointed at the crying baby...

i got to admit, i walked rather slow to the cradle. i was staring at my dad the whole time. i couldn't believe my eyes, coz as i know, my daddy... had passed away... how can he be here in the flesh talking to me like nothing happened???

i smiled at him at last when i was just inches away from him. then the crying pierced my ears and i jumped. for a second there, i looked at the baby and thought the baby was ME! LOL
i carried the baby, rubbed her back, placed her at a corner( to let her sit up and lean at the corner).. and the baby stopped crying almost immediately!!!

daddy placed his hands on my shoulder and whispered... "Pretty, isn't she?" and i looked at him with a blur face. i was confused. "your little sister... she is so pretty.." and i instantly realised the baby looked like gwen.

my dad hugged me by the side and said "wow how big u've grown. havent seen you in a while, nicky girl.."
and unknowingly, my tears were running down my cheeks. i was wondering, where had daddy gone when he said 'havent seen me in a while'? what does he mean??

and then poof i was somewhere else. the place is too beautiful to describe. i cant imagine a place like that on earth! it must be heaven then, because the place was so bright, so windy, so calming, so happy!
there were tall trees, beautiful flowers... and the clouds seem to sing a happy tune.... gosh, the place is just breathtaking!!!

then my daddy was there, smiling again at me so sweetly. "i am so happy to see you like this. u seem happy now rather than before..."

i couldn't manage an answer coz i was so confused.
"how's gwen? i hope she is doing fine on her own.. she needs to study well to succeed."
all i could say was "uh huh.." =_=

"what are u going to do with ur life? u seem out of reach of yourself recently. something troubling you?"
and all i did was start crying.
my daddy came over and hugged me, i, sobbing in his arms started to rant on all the horrible feelings i got from all the negative things around me.
i said alot of selfish stuff, really. haha..

and i can hear him giggle and laugh at everything i've said.
i was getting annoyed at how this amused my dad. so i sulked like a child.
he wiped my tears dry and asked me to relax. "i'm always watching you and gwen.. whats to worry?"

"according to what you blab to me just now, i guess gwen had learned her lesson in trusting the wrong type of guys correct? why do you need to feel so down for? you did a great job as an elder sister. i am proud of you."

"really???? but why am i not proud of myself, daddy? why cant i hah?" i can feel the tears running down again.

"things will come your way.do whatever that makes u happy for now la. u will know when the time has come."

"mummy said the same thing." =_= (i am literally doing this face to dad.)
my dad laughed at my face.

"gwen feels the same way too, i know. the further u two are apart,the worse u two feel right.. do u two know this? u two are like twins. u two cant separate for long.." and daddy continued to laugh.

=___________________________________=

"but.... we are not born twins la daddy......................"

and daddy just laugh and laugh..

"tell mummy i miss her alot.and gwen is still a baby in my eyes."

"wat...?? then me leh? still baby ah?"

"no, u are a grown girl. who is not satisfied with her life! when u should be!"
and daddy gave me a grin... i've never seen him like that.

"oh, how i wish i got more time with gwen and you. at least i see gwen grow in your eyes."

i started to cry again when i hear those words. the truth is very hurtful. its true then, that daddy has gone.

**********************************

i didn't want to wake up. the piercing light appeared just as daddy was leaving. and i woke up.

hime... is a guy?

2011-03-31T22:43:00.000+08:00

duh of coz i am not a guy!

BUT!

I feel happier, being someone else and being photographed nowadays.

my best craze ever is KUROSHITSUJI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

can u IMAGINE how messed up my life is right now??? >w<

here's some pics ~ grell and sebby in yukata~~~

hint hint! YAOI ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!

hope u enjoyed the sneak peak ^^ more to come!

hime is downright depressed.

2011-03-18T00:40:00.000+08:00

i hate being here. when my family and friends say

"be patient, the opportunity will come, you will go places someday..."

i cant seem to believe a single bit of it.

i used to believe in miracles. i used to think, "oh its okay, no matter, i'll try it again..."
but now i feel watever i do is to no avail.
since the opportunity is rather, to someone else.

i know its hard work and labour.. i know its all work and no play.. but why does it seem so far from me even though i am ready to face all of that hardships for a better future?

i walked in with a smile on my face. ready to greet and present myself at best. i was excited, i was happy, i was so thrilled to be in the room! even if my stomach was filled with butterflies and my heart was about to stop...
i gave it my 150%! i never wanted something so much in my entire life! i wanted them to call my name and tell me i got through the first round.... but sadly.. i never heard it. never had i been so disappointed with myself.

i had gone through alot of interviews.. (not for this proffession though...) and i somehow take the reject blow better.

for this... i can say, definately... those rejected me that day... killed my heart and ate up my soul.
i became this monster, this creature that now obessess with her face, her body, her fats..
i used to like my body, even though i outgrown some clothes... i still manage to say "wow, nice ass!" or "oh well, i guess its an excuse to go on a shopping spree!"

now... i cant seem to do that anymore..

i.. hated myself being fat/plump. i cry... i whine... oh gosh.....
wats happening to me?!

thanks to those people that day....

hime became a hopeless freak.

dear pretender....

2011-03-10T18:47:00.000+08:00

my my, how great are u in acting! how clever are you in decieving!
i wonder where u learn and gain this skill from huh... i would really be HONOURED to learn it!

so that i could break some hearts, too.

i hope u realised what negative influence u project to those around u. i hope u know what u are losing in long term. i hope.... u keep on doing what u do, coz... its gonna come right back at u!

***********************************************

dear 2nd pretender,

i know i am not in the postion to ask u this, but i'd like to ask anyway!!

what the hell do you need to pretend that you care in front of others..... and screw me up behind them instead?

what u have against me huh?
why u need to play this game with me?!

i feel LAZY ok! lazy to layan u! but u just tick me off! anything and EVERYTHING that u say or do...
just put my head on fire!

why? COZ I DESPISE YOU, << THATS WHY!

***************************************

just quit bugging ppl's life. get lost, go somewhere else and rot and conquer or watever.
leave already.

STOP PRETENDING ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hohoho~~

2011-03-02T18:10:00.004+08:00

i am recently crazy with this song, servant of evil from vocaloid singer, len kagamine... ahhh i just felt that the song somehow are meant for me..!!!

as u see here the girl is me and the guy is my twin brother muahahaha.

hahahahaha ok maybe i being a lil thick faced but can you blame me? i gave myself "hime" as a nickname already...my surname is "narcis"... =/ somehow i am a bit of a narcissist! LMAO

truthfully...

2011-02-28T18:56:00.000+08:00

give me a break.

i wanna escape and disappear from this face of the earth. i so wish to run away and hide myself in the deep darkest hole and stay there until i feel better of myself again.

its very very annoying having to own up to everything people wants you to do. and yeah i am suffering from depression and pressure everyone is giving me.

at work, i get it from my supervisor, my boss and colleauges.

at home, i get it from my bf and my mom...

everyone expects me to fulfill their wishes, meet up to their expectations and be somebody in life..
what if i am only just a nobdody?

i cant please everybody!

i can see my boss is getting tired of me... they are just keeping me there coz they lack of staff... i guess... i am having two responsibilities in my workl place.. and honestly, i feel no one appreciates me.

my life.. is nothing but a mess.

............... why oh why....

2011-02-28T04:31:00.000+08:00

shit happens!!!

its kinda unreasonable really...
why this world is filled with people with skewed vision...

i wonder for a moment, what happened to the human race?
who made this world become so.. liddat...???

oh.. its just so unfair..

and they say u just need to have a great personality to survive in this world.

bullshit. pure bullshit. u need more than personality...

nowadays u need to have a good stick thin figure (that they think is sexy), a pretty face, perfect hair, extra clevage, long legs, etc etc bla bla bla...( typically close to models =_=) to get a job that pays well than your regular 9 to 5....

i bet many people work their asses off to earn less than 900 a month... wtf...
seriously, with the expenditures and all... how the hell they manage??!!
and this is coming from me who RARELY buy things for myself..

clothes and makeup, blah.. i only buy when i REALLY need them...

i see many people afford to get iphone4 and all.... i not jealous ah of their wealth?
weird la how some are so damn lucky to be rich! but lousy attitude... so bitchy and some are total jerks..

ugh................................. =_= i know i complain alot... i am not satisfied thats why!
people like xiaxue can blog everyday and every minute and earn money...
wth why i cannot earn that kinda income hah.....?

sad case man... seriously.

totally disappointed with myself...
most people say i got a strong personality...

yeah............. i do, but when i fall, i fall harder than others coz of my dynamic personality...
now do u think i am so strong???
bet ya you'd say no...

omg. i am so angry!!!!

2011-02-24T16:29:00.000+08:00

today i met yet another crazy/rude customer that actually don't give a damn bout other people's feelings and started scolding away when we are trying to explain and help out in finding a solution for her problem.

my face were as dark and scary as this pic. =_=

now is the story telling!

first, she CLAIMS that NOBODY explained to her bout the EPP payment method.
HELLO, u FIRST TIME doing EPP ah?? (EPP= Easy Payment Plan via credit card)

she went as rude as snatching the credit card away from my hand, and demanded us to call the boss to make a complain bout the services provided here.

then she wanted to cancel the iphone plan... so i suggested that she use her credit card to swipe the amount (RM 2090) for the bladdy 16GB iphone. BUT SHE REFUSED and scolded me instead, "HOW MUCH IS MY CREDIT LIMIT 3 K or 10K also NOT UR PROBLEM!"

i mean like, WAT THE FUCK?!

people here being nice, being polite, giving a good solution.

she pulak scold like dat. who wont get angry?!

then she make a scene saying we are wasting her time to port in from maxis and saying might as well she stay and become maxis customer.

so i politely said, "miss, if u want to port in back to maxis, i can help u do that, so can you please calm down..."

she snapped at me and shouted:" WHATS ur NAME ah? I wanna complain bout the lousy service here!"

and i told her directly.." my name is ann. real name is anastasia.. if u are SO dissatisfied bout the service i provide you, u can walk in digi centre and complain bout me. i am not afraid of letting u know my name.. can you please calm down, i am just trying to give a solution to ur problem..."

i guess she got nothing to say and wanna escape from me so she turned and said to miss cheah, "i dont wanna talk to this person. can u ask her step away!"

!@#$%^&*( YOU B*TCh!!!
.=_= I SERVED SO MANY CUSTOMERS AND I DONT HEAR THEM COMPLAIN!

WTF.

i really pek chekkKKKKkkKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!

but duno why i feel this pic damn funny. LMAO!

now i am ok again coz of this pic!! HAHAHAHAHAh see the nostrils LMAO!

well, i got smth to say as well...

2011-02-22T04:37:00.000+08:00

i had enough of u. ur whining, ur complains, ur language ugh. i TRIED to be nice to u coz we are from the same church bla bla bla...

told u i had a patience limit and u are going off of it.

so i hope u'd suck it up and FUCK OFF TOO, thank you.
i never met someone so unreasonable like u!

u lie, u use people for ur advantage, u make a scene, u complain, u whine u this u that OMG i really dont need all these fucked up stress u giving urself!

"who are u for me to change for u.." bla bla bla. so what? u think u are perfect?! GET A FREAKIN MIRROR, LOOK INTO IT AND ASK URSELF this... why do u complain so fucking much?

coz ur fucking life sucks ASS BIG TIME.
at least mine have moments of happiness... i worry for my family and friends but overall i am strong enough to stand on my own and say what i feel and help those i can!

BUT YOU????!!!!

u categorize friendships, u make urself LOOK like the victimn in every situation, and TRY to act like u know everything and make ppl around u sick and tired of ur nuinsance.
and now u ask ME to FUCK OFF?!

c'mon. i bet there is many ppl asking u to fuck off from their life.

screw u and ur immature thinking. and u are actually like what, 3 years my senior?

u know what, i dont need to even apologize to u! ( I regret sending "sorry" to u by sms!!!!)
what did i did wrong other than having a short blog post bout u and that fella tat makes so much noise at work?

tak suka tak apa la scold wat scold?

like as though THAT blog post mentioned ur name. HELL even THIS blog post didnt even have ur name.

so does the world actually know who am i talking about other than u and me? NO.

unless they ade agak who are u anyway. which is kinda easy coz i NEVER, i repeat NEVER scold a friend like this before.

see until now i still consider u my friend. but maybe u dont, so goodbye to that.

anyhow i hope u dont get too full of urself. karma will come back to u too, sista.

u keep saying it'd come bak 2 me right.
then it wont come bak 2 u ah?
=_=

2011-02-18T22:09:00.000+08:00

她妈的！

我真的很生气！我的气是因为某些人！！！气死我了啦！！！！

我满肚子就是气！我真的很不明白！为何那么固执呢！为什么就是喜欢说别人，就是不会说自己！

我很想给她一巴掌！给她醒醒！！！很多人就是不爽你！你还看不出来吗？！
哇老！！！！

come to think of it...

2011-02-17T18:44:00.000+08:00

MY LIFE is not as interesting as before..

ya sure we can TELL everyone what we want in life, but HOW to achieve that, is a BIG HUGE question most people fail to answer.

which leads to another question...
WHERE TO START FROM?! >.<

its not that easy to do it now, is it? talk is easy and cheap.. but when it comes to doing SOMETHING to achieve whatever u say that u gonna achieve aint that easy man...... damn, i am even having problems with the keyboard now! (maybe nervous while thinking bout all the things i SHOULD be doing!)

my dream place...
TOKYO JAPAN!
when am i going there? WTH.

my next dream place... paris

no not this paris =_=

PARIS!!

how am i going there?
IF I GET THE JOB... maybe i can FLY there!

but will i be happy?
will i still be with the one i love?

will i ever, get what i want

or will i just keep DREAMING of what i can get and stay in my dream and DREAM?....

oh god.... help me... with answers... PLEASE!

=_=|||

2011-02-16T15:22:00.000+08:00

OMG!

if only i can start screaming for just ONE SECOND!
FTW!

these two people in my work place are setting the bbq grill on fire.

one has a funny way of talking and is disgusted with the other.

one has attitude prob and is spewing venoms uncontrollably.

and doing it in front of customers!

AND SHOUTING AT EACH OTHER WHEN A CUSTOMER IS WAITING AT THE OTHER END OF THE PHONE LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELLO!!!! HE CAN HEAR U PEOPLE ARGUING!

hime laughs~

2011-02-12T21:56:00.000+08:00

at a certain person that does not know hime is laughing at the person.

=_=
ok forget bout that...

on a happier HAPPIER note!!!
I am gonna celebrate 2 years anniversary with my beloved lao gong, JACKY TEH!!!!

woo hoo! valentine's is also around the corner.. basically its so near! 17th feb is our day! ^^

I ordered a heart shaped cake with cappuccino mousse fillings for lao gong! coz he just LOVES cappuccino!
i didnt get to see the cake yet... i just called to order from my previous employer ^^

but i have high expectations~!

hime wishes....

2011-02-10T17:00:00.002+08:00

that i were NOT that fat/chubby.

not that i lack of self esteem.

not that i think i am wrong/weird in any way.

its just easier to get jobs with a nice body...

since the world is super engrossed with sexy bodies and great boobs...

its kinda annoying being on the overweight/ chubby/ fat side.

wat will happen to the ones who is REALLY fat in nature.... pity them for being pushed aside and pinned for being one of the ones considered "ugly" by men (and women who thinks like men)...

being fat/chubby gives u alot of disadvantages.

people tend to "bully" u, mentally or pysically.

people tend to take u for granted.

people tend to make u feel uneasy/unpleasant all the time.

people must make use of u.... and in the end blame u if anything wrong happens....

sigh....

its hard to be fat in this superficial world.

damn.

inconvenience.... becomes a pain in the ass.

2011-02-05T18:45:00.002+08:00

its not impossible to see my moods.

i DO have mood swings!

i don;t like things sumtimes but i nvr been really outfront about my feelings coz i tend to care for other's feelings instead if i were to loose my cool.

sometimes i just dont get it-- why is it always my fault?

i never did anything that i am not pleased of..

i never did anything that i am not proud of...

i basically follow my heart and instincts.

but in the end... its not enough for certain people...

and i hate that. seriously.

this is the real hell!

2011-01-28T21:50:00.003+08:00

chaos i tell u chaos!

one is shouting my name, another is screaming "COMPANY CHOP!!! COMPANY CHOP!!!"

like as though the company chop will fly by and land on ur hands. =_=

another is always complaining "i feel so yucky.. i feel so weird... i feel like wanna puke... =_="

she is making me WANNA PUKE =_=

OMG. wat a day!

i am kinda annoyed by how many times ppl tap me on the shoulder.. and its not the nice tap. its like... hitting to my bone or smth. =_=

the decision is final!

2011-01-22T20:26:00.001+08:00

i will gambatteh and try my best!

these few lines is actually a self-motivation!

i can do it!

i know i can be confident enough to walk in that interview room!

i know i can answer the questions they give me!

i know i can handle the pressure and the stresssss!

I KNOW I CAN DO IT IF I PUT MY HEART INTO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gambatteh yo hime-chan!

oh no...

2011-01-18T00:29:00.002+08:00

here we go again.

the big decision i gotta make.
and its always eating my mind... i cant DESCRIBE the feelings in words!!

my palm's sweaty, my eyes are heavy i am going crazy!
my heart is asking me to try, but my mind wont let me!

ARGH! being rasional and true to my feelings is really really tough!

i am gonna listen to my own advice tat i like to give others.

when in doubt, listen to your heart.

hime is sad...

2011-01-12T15:40:00.002+08:00

a few worries about some ppl that is eating up my mind...

*bf

*sister

*mother....

**Bf(the boyfriend)

he might decide to leave me soon to go work in sg with his friends.

i am worried whether is he gonna stay true to me, or is he ok being alone without me, and also bout the job he would be doing if he really goes there to work...

**sister

she is currently in kl. to pursue her course in multimedia and animation.

i am worried whether she can cope with kl life, since there is alot going on there. it is not a safe place like penang, and definately not a place to mix with the wrong company... because peer presure can lead my sister go nuts(tat was last tijme during school days.. but i am not sure now...)

**mother

she is tired everyday, she works like hell and is alone now since my sis went to kl...

i am worried i cant be a good daughter....since i am always with my bf now....

haih... its eating me up....

our kuroshitsuji cosplay.. ^^ CF 2010!

2011-01-06T15:26:00.016+08:00

hohoho... i've been too busy to blog!

anyways since i am updating, i might as well update the happiest moment of my life as an otaku/anime freak!

my all time favourite anime is kuroshitsuji.. funny me and me sis shares the same interest in the anime but diff characters!

she likes grell sutcliffe (mayb her atittude and style is like the character)

while i am so liking sebastian michaelis for his coolness and his perfect character!

well, these are the *edited* pics of us cosplaying as the four characters,

*Grell Sutcliffe

*Sebastian Michaelis

*Ciel Phantomhive

*Madam Red (Angelina Durless)

*ahem*clears throat* of coz i'd cosplay my own favourite character... but i am nothing near to him... *Cries* tried my best though. i might be the only few female sebby in the whole CF! coz i noticed many guys cosplaying as sebby!

one of my favourite cousin... This cosplay of Ciel is very sucessful!!

i'd leave it to guess if THIS ciel is a girl or boy!!!

this is my sister!!! ^^ everywhere she went that day,people wants to take a pic of her! coz she looks so like grell! LOL ~
this is my sister's best friend, angie. i'd say she make a wonderful madam red! she was the prettiest there in my opinion! u should see her shoes that she bought specifically for this cosplay!

pity her having to walk around in those painful-looking-but-damn-beautiful shoes!!!

this is one of the pics taken in the hotel we were staying in...

*considering a real photo shoot*

too bad there is no better pose-different pics tat i like in the entire journey in CF 2010!

gosh. my sis can really pose! and photogenic too!!! T^T

i look fat in this pic. but i like this pic alot... feels different...

i look fat in this too! *CRIES* but i am liking the entire outfit of our ciel phantomhive!! rite rite!

my sis foolin around in the hotel and i just snapping away but i managed to capture this! LOL

overall i really liked CF 2010! i really wanted to go back to those times! i missed those times when i can see flashes here and there.. and oooh the crowd!!!! and the AWESOME cosplayers there!!!!

@_@ their cosplay is so fabulous! so flamboyant! so F-ing COOL man!!!

how come we don't go cosplaying as those characters....

but its alot of work anyway so...oh well...

cant wait for the next CF!

but what am i gonna go as anyway????!!!! OMG!!! headache!!!!

又来？

2010-12-15T21:38:00.002+08:00

我真的无法了解男人，他们的性格非常好笑！动不动就生气，动不动就找东西来吵的。。
有时候我觉得我这个女人都没有比他那么小气！我不习惯他那么没有自信，心情不好的性格！

我认识的爱人是个很有自信的男人。。。
他不会乱乱骂我。。。
不会拿我来出气。。。

为什么他变了？

为什么我做什么都是等于错的？

都是谁的错？
到底我得罪了谁？

到底我做错了什么？？？

为什么我的爱情就是那么空虚。。。
为什么就感觉好像是我一个人在爱他而已？
为什么觉得他越来越像他的死王八蛋（人）？？？

我很怕他会学到那个没良心的（人）。。。。

最好是不要咯！
如果他敢背叛我，我可能会疯！

可能会做些我不敢想象的东西。。。。

哈哈。。。我不是弱的哦！！！

很久没有用华语BLOG

2010-12-11T19:40:00.004+08:00

我读了表妹的blog，觉得她有太多太多事情。。
看了，我觉得有点心痛，觉得有点悲哀。。
但我不是同情她，只觉得很可惜。。
一个好好的女孩子，为了男朋友，为了爱情；改变了性格。。

因为太有义气，太相信朋友，可能走错了方向。
不该做的她都做到完、不该动的她都动。。

慢慢的，她就迷路了。。
就很难要回头。。
在哪儿挣扎、到底怎么救自己。。

开头好好感情的，竟然不知不觉变了悲剧。。
一路来看起来好好的她，突然因为被伤害失去了控制。。
时间越快过，她就越改变。。而不是改变好的、是改成坏的。。

虽然我认识她不会比她的朋友久。。但我是亲眼看着她改变。
虽然我不是一个很好的朋友。。我很想很想帮她。。
但是我有心无力。。。最后正真能够帮她的是自己。。

***********
表妹说话很好笑。。有时候非常天真！
什么都说。。哈哈！我和她最合的就是说话非常直！

还记得刚认识的时候，我们都不爽对方。。。
眼睛都是喜欢瞪着的。。好像在j惹对方打架！哈哈！
最后还好慢慢的开始讲几句，然后就很kap kap siao siao 了！！哈哈！！

好想念以前的日子，过得很轻松的。。。
爽就睡觉，爽就去打game。。

现在，一直做工而已。。。闷啊！！

i wonder why...

2010-12-09T18:59:00.003+08:00

...there is always a monster trying to eat u, and tell u that u are a loser anyway.

that monster can shut ur mouth just like that because the monster can, with the authority.

and u can do no shit bout it coz u are nothing in the monster's eyes.
and in the end even if u wanted to answer the monster u just have to pull ur tongue to shut urself up.

the hatred in the monster's eyes is there.. u can feel it. the displeased feeling when near you, u can feel it...

the unpleasant stares,the deep dark voice, the sore tat cuts in ur heart like ur ass is swollen after a whole night of shitting ur asshole out.

argh the agony.

nobody wud understand this crap.

hmm...

2010-12-05T22:06:00.004+08:00

its like i still have this sadness in me for my rabbit...

now i got a new rabbit, and its a gift from my best friend madeleine...

i was so shocked when she gave me the rabbit as a present from her and her bf...

how am i suppose to handle a new rabbit this time again?

i am so afraid to get attached to this rabbit..

and as the saying goes, an animal can feel ur fear, and can feel ur feelings as well.. they are very sensitive...

and so,the new rabbit keeps on avoiding being touched/held by me.
[ok, mayb its my fault for it to react like that]

***********************************************
i see alot of things
happening around me
i see alot of people
yearning to be free

i see what they go through
a road i used to take
but now i stand afar
and see it all partake

i am afraid
to loose another friend
i hope they'd understand
it is not the end

the tears that they cry
will one day be dry....

************

its funny how i actually carry the wounds on my arms. i sometimes feel tat i am pretty stupid to do so.

=________=

2010-11-28T21:44:00.001+08:00

I feel like i am workin my ass off everyday but nothing is coming out of it.

i still am happier making clothes even though i suck at pattern block.

yesterday... u are gone...

2010-11-18T12:36:00.004+08:00

...from my life..
the nine and a half months taking care of you... feeding you... bathing you... cleaning your poo...

to me, now its like a dream....

somehow your death is a nightmare... i never cried so hard in my life, not even when i was dumped by my ex or got into an accident or when my friend killed herself.

I watched you struggle for air.. breathing for life.. I watched u twitch when i tried to give you CPR...

i watched you trying to get up... or trying to move ur limbs...

my tears, flowing like an endless stream... starts calling out ur name..

i really wanted u to live. i was gonna promise to buy u toys and stuff..

why is ur life so short?

i am so sorry for u to have a useless owner like me...

i really hope u will forgive me for not taking care of u properly...

but its time for u to go to heaven... and enjoy ur life there...
no one can replace u... no animal can replace ur exsistance in my heart.

i really loved u... like u are my baby, although u may not understand humans...
although u think we are monsters... but i really cared for you... like i gave birth to u..

my tears cant seem to stop...even when i am typing this...

i love u...rabbithorn.... R.I.P

2010-11-08T17:14:00.002+08:00

its been a while... i got lots to complain..about alot of stuff, about lots of people.

soemtimes i just don't get it why certain people is appreciated for their lazing around while those who actually do the job gets pushed aside and unnoticed.

so yeah, did a few mistakes and error here and there.. but i am not DUMB u know? i acutally LEARN from my mistakes and put in 150% effort so i do not do the SAME bloody mistake again.

but i wonder, is it so hard to get appreciation for things that i do?

c'mon. i type this and that. i do filing, submission list etc etc...
why cant i have some relaxation AFTER i am DONE with MY JOB?

others can!

oh yeah there's this taboo of job ettique.......etc etc...wateverrrr...
don't i deserve respect too?

if there is a task, and when i was asked to do it.. i just DO it.
but sumtimes i need help. is there anyone to help me?

NO.

ok, help in explanation etc etc helps...
but DON'T QUESTION WAT I KNOW!

coz i KNOW!
(wat, jealous ah?)

i update myself! i ask around!i ask my superiors to explain to me! i ask my colleauges to explain!

i learn from people!
THATS WHAT I DO BEST!!!!!!
tats why i get more info than u, sucker.

and if u dun believe me.. go ahead and ask anyone u KNOW!

if u are so smart, then WHY NOT do the JOB and PLEASE explain to the customers?
i'll let ya..

after looking at the sum of my salary, i know i am not paid enough f0r the job.
what's this, targets? its great for sales department, but what bout us poor customer service department?

I had to sit behind the counter, straining my eyes to read whatever the sales people write on the bloody paper, type this type that, out stock , in stock, check stock etc etc!

do i even have the time to go and FIGHT sales from the sales people tat are actually FIGHTING each other to get lines/phones to hit target?

before this, i was in sales department. i was great in sales coz i had the time to go through the whole phone plan, phone specs and voiceplan etc etc.

in short, i totally hate being in customer service department!

:@

2010-11-05T20:06:00.003+08:00

this is wat pisses me off when i work in customer service.

i get scolded for anything and everything!!!

There are nice customers (god bless their heart) which are nice to serve, coz they smile, talk nicely and have patience....

BUT SOME ARE JUST SO [ INSERT BAD WORDS HERE ] !!!!! urgh.

My fluffy bunny

2010-10-09T23:04:00.001+08:00

Cutest pet i ever had! Haha. Better than dogs or cats! Coz bunny don't howl or bark, and its not as lazy as cats. Haha.

Da sisters of shinigami~

2010-09-26T23:08:00.001+08:00

The one is blue is obviously Hime... Haha. The other is sora-chan! Hahahaha...

The virtual Hime.

2010-09-23T13:39:00.001+08:00

I would really much look like this.lolita inspired dressing.. With my pet rabbit on my shoulder... Hahahaha. The nice jap fan is just a plus plus. Hehe.

Cute butterfly lantern!

2010-09-18T15:56:00.001+08:00

Lantern festival is bak! So fast a year is almost at the end! I felt tat time moves very fast with each passing year! I felt its time for a new resolution! In 2 months time, i must produce at the very least 2 full cosplay sets! Yosh! Gambatte neh!

Faces of Hime..

2010-09-16T10:24:00.001+08:00

If you noticed there is two types of evil grin. Haha. Yup, i'm sort of evil. And can be very cruel if needed so. Someone is out there to spoil my reputation. One word for you Bastard. karma=_=.

Poem from Hime....

2010-09-15T17:42:00.001+08:00

I remember years ago.. I used to go wild.. I used to be the craziest! I can never sit still.. Saturday nights are the busiest!

This is wat...

2010-09-14T17:19:00.001+08:00

...i wanna say. I wanna screw tat asshole SOAB tat always blame me for things i never did! Fuck you. Why would i open a stupid fb acc and promote your "great" deed of finding another bitch and end up throwing your wife and kids aside? You think you're very MAN now is it? Call yourself a husband? A father? Go ahead and kill yourself, spare us your drama, drama king. I know why you blame me. Coz i helping your wife right. Guys like you are just Bastards tat want his wife helpless, no place to go, no shoulder to cry on. So you get your own twisted pleasure. But if i'm around, i won't let your wife be alone! We will fight against you! Go to your fucking bitch and howl. Fucking loser.

=_= Wtf.

2010-09-08T21:28:00.001+08:00

Shame.. Shame.. Shame.. Wtf happening to spelling nowadays!

Delicious temptation..

2010-09-07T23:59:00.001+08:00

Meaning to post this very long ago, but just didn't have the time to type. Haha. My jacky,myself and friends went to cameron highlands for a one day trip. It was fun, except for me because i was driving... =_=but in the end it was worth it because.. I'm with my lao gong the whole time. Hehe.... Being together brings alot of memories. Its not easy to forget those good times.

there...

2010-08-23T17:47:00.002+08:00

and ...here i go again. whining.

whine whine whine. tats is wat i do most nowadays.

i decided to stay where i am now and work~~~ till i really found a way to open my shop by myself!

I hate it when my ideas are becoming a reality FIRST before me doing it.

ok i know my grammar is wrong here but i just need a break!

SOMEBODY SHOW ME THE WAY~~ haha

yup. i kinda just depend on others now. not myself. haih....

sad sad sad!!! just plain angry and sad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wanna do something in my life. be a businesswoman!

but how how how! who is gonna support me financially?!

T_T

Being vain..,Hehehehehe

2010-08-22T12:02:00.001+08:00

I can't remember the times when i am so confident. I am now in a huge dilemma!how to secure a real job with good pay? With my profession, that is. Sigh. May god help me.

The most important moment....

2010-08-20T19:53:00.002+08:00

is the time you admit defeat.

because when you do, u will also have the power and ability to pick yourself up again, and that you already know your mistake, you will change your ways and walk a different path.

i keep telling myself all that... just to instill some lost confidence in me.

its hard to really admit your failure/defeat... because being malaysians... we are all very kiasu... (scared to loose) HAHHAAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

sometimes i really wonder, is everything we do in life already planned by someone? if so, where are our options/choices, when whatever we do will only lead to the ones that are planned????

0_0

confusing, i know. take the time to consider this... where the hell is hell? when living on earth already feels like so.... =_=

LOL!

The picture says it all ^^

2010-08-19T12:30:00.001+08:00

A journey through time..

2010-08-17T14:02:00.001+08:00

I wished life is more simple, where everything goes smoothly.. Its really hard to comprehend why we are always constantly judged and looked down upon. If i could turn bak time, there is so much i wanna change. If only i had put more effort into things last time, maybe i'd be different. A steady payroll, a fixed income, having enough cash to go places tat i wanna go, see things tat i wanna see. I wonder why i had became so dull, so lame, so out of the flair tat i used to have. Time really changed me, and not for the better. "Where is the dream life i always wanted?" My mom keeps asking me tat=_=. What did i wanted so much in life? I've lost track of all those! Other people makes it look so easy, so easy to gain what they want. What did they had to do to gain tat, i wondered. How come they can travel to places, and open a shop, be fabulous and lead a joyous life? While i sit here and become fat and whine bout it? I really really wanna open a cafe. Tat is really one of my goal in life. How to achieve tat ? What do i need to do? Can anyone help me? I'm sure those who opened a cafe had help. How can they do it by themselves! Where is my help then? Why is god not providing me a way for this? Am i not meant for this then? Why am i a human then? If its so hard to live a life then whats the point of living? I constantly on d edge of giving up, but i try so hard to pull myself up coz i belive there is still hope somewhere out there. I contradict myself all the time. I just can't take it anymore you know? Hope, where are you! Sobs.....

Its not bout how much we love each other...

2010-08-15T09:57:00.001+08:00

Its how much we hate each other.. Its so hard to explain, we just bite each other's head off at times...its funny why we do that, but sometimes the affection grows through these kind of little games we play. Haha. A love-hate relationship, will it last? Hopefully it will.

I dedicate this to my lao gong.. ^^

2010-08-11T20:05:00.001+08:00

Was really bored, so i drew this Hehe. But i mean it!

2010-07-31T22:26:00.001+08:00

The wedding buffet dinner! Look at d splendid food arranged! So mouth watering right!

Cousin's wedding

2010-07-31T21:45:00.001+08:00

This is their picture. So nicely taken, simple and meaningful. I just absolutely love it!

This is wat i like.

2010-07-28T22:47:00.001+08:00

A peaceful scenery creates a peaceful mind.

I'd tell you...but you gotta find out...

2010-07-25T12:02:00.002+08:00

Its so funny....

I'm working but i see no money coming!! T_T coz i gotta wait for next month for my pay to be out.

damn.... =/ cashless most of the time.

I started picture blogging with my phone... great phone sony ericsson~~~~ I can post a short blog with my phone and link it to my real blog~ and i can read my blog posts too~!and with colours~ hahahaha

the thing is, i cant post a picture-less blog though. ugh.

nothing much up my life lately, but i feel something's wrong with my relationship. bf's short fused most of the time. wonder what's up. gonna get to the bottom of things when i get the chance!

Ah... There goes my shoes..

2010-07-25T09:32:00.001+08:00

My beautiful 10 dollar shoes. Now "dying" coz its "skin" is peeling off bit by bit! But its worth d money i paid for it. Wore it for almost 8 months now. Hehe. No worries. Will save shoe with shoe gum! Haha!

Cute right?

2010-07-24T15:00:00.001+08:00

I bought these mini donuts at friday's pasar malam~ 6 for 3.50:) cheap cheap!! It was quite delicious too... Can never say it beats dunkin donuts or big apple donuts though... But for a poor person like me.. These mini donuts are a bliss!

Wow

2010-07-20T14:55:00.001+08:00

I saw a butterfly this huge!i was at Jusco... Its as big as my purse!

A key chain my hubby bought for me!

2010-07-18T01:58:00.001+08:00

Its so cute right... But sadly, it fell off my phone one day... Its lost forever... luckily i always take a photo of stuffs... At least i have a memory of what it looked like. ~{AnnHime}~©

2010-07-17T01:48:00.001+08:00

My sweet teddy

2010-07-17T01:42:00.001+08:00

My new teddy

hime is gonna work...

2010-06-30T18:01:00.002+08:00

...again.

yup. for the sake of money, but hopefully i can get it right this time.

coz i really wanna go into the clothing industry, and not just making clothes... but selling them and actually making some serious ka-ching.

but a sales asst at a retail store?

spells b-o-r-i-n-g. but at least i have a job than to rot at home. right.....

RIGHT.

*****

I made a bag (or purse?) like a small bag to fit stuff like phones/cards/cash that you can buy for RM10(or more) outside.

the only difference is this is handmade (obviously by me) and the fabrication is just breathtaking................. coz its imported and you cant find it in kamdar or whatever!

i really love this fabric and i just have no use for them expect petty things like this!

I wanted to make more and sell it but I calculated the cost... and its NOT really gonna be cheap!!!!

malaysians are cheap people. they dont care if the fabric is imported or its handmade etc etc.

they want "bang gi ko dua dei" means "cheap and big" literally in hokkien.

but think bout it! its gonna be something seriously special and different. something you cant find ANYWHERE in Malaysia! coz if u wanna do that, then you gotta import the fabric and make one urself! duhhh

I am currently looking for nice looking zips. instead of the cheap zips that i can find... i wonder if i can find those shiny zips.... to make my purse/bag looks more "expensive" and worth Malaysian's cheap money.

LOL. ironic how business is. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

huh.

2010-06-26T20:29:00.002+08:00

its amazing how time can change a person.

it certainly changed me.

and those around me.

i went to see my bf today... but to find him MISSING!

for one bladdy hour. =_= okay okay maybe i am late and i supposed to meet up with my guy friends (one of them is a birthday boy) but does he need to PUNISH me???????

omg. i called and called and called. i even sms him like wat, 6 sms?

THEN he replied.

he said he were at kfc. lines are long, so he is waiting for his order of kfc.

assuming he is ordering for ONE, i thought it shouldn't have taken so long....
so i went down to kfc to check it out...

to find a few people at the counter... and him... NO WHERE TO BE FOUND!

WHAT IS THIS?!

i am soooo pissed (and worried. but mostly worried he is seeing another T_T Ohh!!)

then i said(through sms) DON'T LIE TO ME.

then he "magically" appeared back at his workplace. so i went up to see if he is really there.

and yeah, he is there. and at least 5 plastic bags of kfc. ooookkaayyy... meaning he is packing for all at the work place.

seems that the manager decided to buy them all lunch. =_=
silly me thinking he has nothing to eat and rushed there...

and he scolded me for thinking that he is betraying him. SCOLDED! T_T

WTF.

okay okay maybe i shouldn't assume things that much. lesson learned!

Hime....is a tree...

2010-06-20T17:18:00.002+08:00

I am a tree, and my friends are the branches and the leaves and the flowers.

only some are really close, like the branches...
coz they grow with me..
stay by me... and some how, became one with me.

some friends that are at a distance...
they are the leaves, those who grow after having branches.
these leaves maybe friends with the branches...
and are introduced to me...

the most furthest and nearest, perhaps are the flowers.

they are close because they grow with the leaves as well. they grow from branches as well.
maybe they are just coincidence, but i came to love them as they were so beautiful.

colourful and radiant,these flowers made my lonely days.
they return sunshine to my darkest days, bring smiles when i cry.
they turn the cloudy sky into a beautiful rainbow...
they make me feel... i can do anything.

but then one day...

they left me.

left me and one by one... they fall, they die.

one by one withers.... one by one became such ugly dried flowers.

they decieved my trust, taken my hope away and gone with the wind. their existance seems useless suddenly, only beautiful on the outside.

only the eyes saw the beauty, while the heart knew... its too good to be true.
it only lasts....while it lasts...

I am the tree... You are the flowers.... thank you for such short time of joy.

Maybe i'd rather only having branches and leaves.

first time... posting pictures..

2010-06-11T19:04:00.002+08:00

of me and my laogong.

i liked how i edited it. damn!! how pro some editing programs nowadays! =_=

i could rub off all the eye bags, the pimples and ugly lines on the face~

and i call him laogong (hubby in mandrin) for a reason. i really want him to be mine one day!

ya. some people might say its fake but what da hell. i just wanted to look beautiful! T_T

and.... there is the beautiful butterfly i liked alot....................... it makes my picture seem more interesting!

and SPARKLES~~ sparkling the entire picture bwahahahahhahaha

look like a superstar, no?

ok ok.. i dream of being one. but i know it won't happen hehe.

(*_*) i am soooo full of day dreaming shyt!

~*H!m3*~

Hime's ^^

2010-06-05T20:13:00.002+08:00

Haven't drew in a while.

but luckily... i can still draw ^^

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!

Hime... is.. on... FIRE!!!!!

2010-06-04T13:23:00.004+08:00

This is not what I love to do,but hey, those sick-ass-gossip loving people has got to stop loitering in people's life. Where's the privacy? Respect? ass. =_=

So, I got something to say to all those who offended Sora and Hime.
*if you don't know who those two is, then you don't know us. haha.

I respect everyone that deserved to be respected. but for those "selected" few... who doesn't respect Sora and Hime as an individual with lifes... May not deserve any form of respect.

Be warned beforehand, I am VERY rude. I am rude when I am angry, some of you may have noticed. So for those who don't know, here I am, in my worst sort of rudeness. Thanks to "you" ^^

HAHAHAHA. and so, Sora and Hime likes to talk to you.

***note: if this is not for you to read, then just don't read!***

Sora: Hello, Good day.
Hime: 'sup.

Sora: I've got something to say to all of you, especially to "someone".
Hime: Damn backstabbers, SHUT UP AND LISTEN!

Sora: I have my own life to lead, my own life to live.
Hime: What I choose in life got nothing to do with you. BACK OFF!

Sora: I know facebook is a public site.
Hime: THIS facebook account is MINE.

Sora: Maybe some pics are not suitable to be posted.
Hime: What pics I posted or gonna post is my own fuckin' problem.

Sora: Maybe some looks offensive...
Hime: HELL! I'm NOT even naked or showing any part of nudity!

Sora: Maybe it offended you...
Hime: =_= I dont't give two hoots if it offends you.

Sora: You'd think I've done a mistake.
Hime: THE pics SHOWS I should be married? IF I'd taken it with my MALE cousin, SHOULD I MARRY HIM instead? HUH? HUH?!

Sora: But I wasn't doing anything....
Hime: Wake up people. Its not ANCIENT times okay. Its the 21st century! pics in rooms are like so... NORMAL! ass=_=

Sora: Do you need to judge me?
Hime: I am being myself, WHO are you to judge?!

Sora: Everything I do seems wrong to you...
Hime: =_________= lifeless people.

Sora: Those pics shows I am deeply in love... I'm just a teenager... THAT's ALL!
Hime: Like I mentioned above, should I marry my COUSIN instead if I take a pic with him and i am wearing a bikini in my room?

Sora: Is it wrong to enjoy my youth?
Hime: I'm no 3 year old, dammit. I can think, you know.

Sora: I hope I am able to be myself...
Hime: Fuck, Like as though you people give us a break.

Sora: I know reputation is important...to my mom...
Hime: THANKS to you pressing on her with THAT! hey, you are smart! Going straight for the Queen! maybe you should go to the king as well, huh? IN HEAVEN?

Sora: But what can my pics do?
Hime: You think we're billionaires or celebrities? paparazzi following everyday is it?SCANDAL pics can sell for thousands. But these? ARE YOU DUMB?

Sora: I've grown up and I am changing. Stop judging me.
Hime: Judge and you shall be judged.

Sora: What's wrong with our family?
Hime: Welcome to our broken family. Why do you think I show up lesser at family gatherings?

Sora: I am already being very polite...
Hime: Fuck, I can use this word in almost any way possible. wanna see?

Sora: So please stop harrassing my life, or comment about my pics in facebook.. Its driving me insane!
Hime: BACK OFF. get a life. I've got a mother to teach me stuff, you know? Don't need your help, THANKS!

Sora: Thank you so much for your cooperation....
Hime: .... I can't be so polite here now, can I? watch your back.

oh... I am sooo tempted to write another with more **** words. LOL!
Ignorance is BLISS.

Hime talks solemnly....

2010-06-01T17:51:00.002+08:00

time flies by yet again. a beginning of an ending.

June the 1st. so fast. i am so shocked by how fast time flies! in another 2 months, i am gonna celebrate my lao gong's bday!

hahaha. i really love this guy even if we fight and argue most of the time. he has this sweet smile that just blows me away and sweep me off my feet!

@_@ i really am sooo into him i suppose!

am not surprised really, i did give 150% in relationships. my mom hates it but i do it.

its not really clear why most of the time, i give in to him more than he gives in to me.
i rather keep quiet and take the blame if i think this can make our relationship stronger.
but somehow all my love is in vain if the relationship in on unstable grounds.

they rock like earthquake and splashes like tsunami.

i feel insecure although i try my best to hide them. i think its my own stupid mind doing it... i just feel.... i am not worthy of him....... most of the time.

since when the HIME looks down on herself huh?

you'd ask.

and i'd answer.

I DUN HAVE A FREAKIN CLUE!

maybe its still at the raw point of infactuation. .... waiting for it to be riper.

is it gonna blow like how it did with peter?

oh god. i hope not.

i've been reading my previous posts bout my ex(i am still loving him tat time) and realise...

how much i LIED to him and to MYSELF!!!

i didn't need his hugs, nor kisses, not anything! i just wanted him to TRUST me..

and he didn't.=/

but laogong now DOES!

i should be happier! but why do i carry these.... odd feelings...
ike i-am-gonna-betray-him-anytime tat sort of feeling... ugh...

there goes again my mind crumbling like you'd squash a piece of biscuit....

*crunchhh crunchhhh*

Hime continues....

2010-04-23T18:28:00.003+08:00

whats happening y'all?

nothing much up my life lately, just complete mess and dirt and crap!

i fainted outside my workplace (due to wat i have no freakin clue!) then was having a hard time trying to understand why my lady boss "released" me from the workplace.

i could've worked there forever. i was happy there, even if there were misunderstandings with the one to carries off my shift. i hate her. she's just one retarded bitch that goes around giving people WARNING letters like she own the shop.

fuck off. i told her off the moment i had the chance. should've kept the letter for proof if i ever whacked her. but i didn't=/ stupid me.

hmph. like as though a person like me, like my attitude, would keep quiet if somebody offended me....

now i think of my pathetic life, i feel sad for myself. so far, nothing near my dream is achieved....

but i am happy, coz maybe i found the right one for me.

hime is back....agaiN!

2010-03-18T17:21:00.002+08:00

i am not sure why, i feel i am more suited to be a writer instead of a designer.

the thing is, i can type for hours. i can type whatever my heart wants me to say.

its kinda impossible to stop me when i am on a roll of blabbing things out. hahahhaha

maybe i should come out with a manuscript and send it to a publisher! i wanted to write a "letter" to my mom once and i think, i should continue with tat. =/ its a long one, really!

sigh. i nid money. i nid job. i nid some place in life.

recently i drew a mind map of what i want in life.

should've taken a pic of it! so u guys can see! ^^ so i will do tat in the next post.

adiu~ hahaha

hime rants on!

2010-03-13T02:31:00.002+08:00

everyone's moving somewhere. to a better place, leading a better life... enjoying their money and time... having fun travelling.......... having their own business....

ahh............. when will THAT be me?

i've been waiting. for s0ooOoOoOoooO f-ing long. when is MY chance to do all those?! it seems to have no means of appearing to me!

i just gonna be frank. i am a failure. all the time. and people see me for tat. i dont give up though, (one point tat is good of me) and i struggle every bitter experience that God sents me to endure.

THEN WHEN IS MY CHANCE TO SHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know i know. sometimes its not good to rush and i should allow it to flow....

BUT FLOW UNTIL WHEN! FLOW WHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tak mari langsung FLOW to ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ah!!!!!!!!!!!! i just hate it sometimes!

ok. blabbling here has been fun. adios! i am gonna go kill some people on M.A.T. (to release tension!) wats M.A.T? =_= mission against terror. ugh. wat terror. =_=

2010-02-28T23:29:00.002+08:00

nya ma ko PUKI... >.<

fucking hate some peeps sometimes. as though u never once cheated people's account for cyber cafe before! u even hack the damn fukin pc to play for free coz of ur stupid boss that gives u only free playing time of 10 hours when u gotta work for 12 hours~!!!!

fuck you. i come to play i did give money ok.

watever la. i am wrong somehow. never mind...

Another Day...

2010-02-27T09:46:00.002+08:00

... of Fun... (i hope!)

i cant seem to get well, was seriously sick last 2 days... wat the fuck is wrong with the whether?!

sometimes its too darn hot to even move a muscle! i could sweat just sitting down doing nothing!!!

even TRYING to reach my phone would end up sweating like a pig and i gotta bathe all over again.. * coz i hate sweating, and the sticky feeling *UGH* and the smell when it combined with heat.

and i puked teh tarik in the morning. LOL! coz i drank teh tarik at 3am. thats the punishment for drinking teh tarik at wee hours.

looking thru twitter page......*scroll scroll*

I sometimes miss my school. Gwen is going there for sports day. i wanna go T_T

but i am working today =_=

but now i am not doing anything. HEHEHEHEHEHE.. makan ular~~~

eh. better start doing sumthing la. later kena bomb susah. hahahaha!!

k thx bye!

Hime's....

2010-02-24T15:25:00.002+08:00

...work.

its the most tiring thing in the world. and to be able to cope with it is another thing. to be able to think for your job is another matter.

TO PRODUCE IDEAS is another headache, to FOLLOW a certain style is another pain.

thank god i have the brains to absorb. but recently, i am falling ill (stupid flu and cough)

so my brain is malfunctioning, and the wheather is too cloudy for my sunny self.

i feel so low and down most of the time coz its cloudy (even though its relaxing but i cant relax while working thats why i get so moody!)

+_+
recently.............
i found out a friend of mine had just became a tauke so (female big boss) for a restaurant at KL.

MY GOD. >.< she's the same age with me and yet she is able to OPEN A RESTAURANT! and whats more, in KUALA LUMPUR! ( i am so excited or maybe tension gila while typing this entry so i keep on having typo error that i have to correct! BLAH!!!!)

i really am envious of her short success. WALLAAA and she is a businesswoman.

reality came like a lightning after a thunder. i am still here, a hometown girl doing only t-shirt designs that i dont see it being used.

disappointments came like hurricane! i am so disappointed with myself! somehow, the flair for my passion has faded. FADED!

i cant even draw a proper silhoutte! i cant draw a face, an eye or a skirt or dress!!! it all comes out ugly!

or is it coz i drew when i was so cramp up with all those negative feelings and thoughts?

my gosh. i needed help. and help came, through her. she said something rather interesting.

and maybe, i gonna go try it out. for once in my life, i really wanna be an achiever.

towards REALISING my DREAM! i shall do whatever it takes.

before that. back to my work =_= yep... still working.

~Hime~ to Sora(or Grell =_=)

2010-01-19T18:37:00.002+08:00

I read my friend's blog, titled "A message to My Sister"... it was very touching and personal.

whatever she said was true... and i felt the pain, coz i am, like her, the first born child... i feel the same like her.

Its harder to be the eldest. coz, as the eldest.. whatever u do, counts.
and mostly, watever u do... is wrong.

i, too, wish there were an elder than me to show me, guide me and help me. In the end, the hard truth digs in... i do not have any. talk bout Wishes that can't be true.

I treaded the rough and windy road, rocky and thorny path, got lost in the ocean of choices and drowned in own greed.... to pick myself up all again... just to survive in this cruel and twisted society!

I can understand how she felt for her younger sister... i have a sister too... and i really wish she wouldn't walk my path.. but she already did.

=_=

so my sister will feel the pain i gone through, walk the path i walked... and suffer... and somehow... LEARN. (hopefully) like i did. thank god we don't have another younger sis.. or it would be passed down.. ugh.

i feel like a loser all the time. i feel i am showing bad examples to my sister.. but how am i to shut my own needs? just to show a good example? i don't know why, but i just can't... give up what i want.

i am so sorry gwen, for the wrong doings i did... please, just please... don't follow my wrongs.. take my advice, and lead to a better life. you deserve better than this life u are having now.

u deserve to be free and not controlled. please, don't give up ur education for a bf.. like i did! and i have to carry this regret for my entire life.. i could've gotten to a better college, and it was a scholarship, GWEN! SCHOLARSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i should've ignored what HE said and went on to a better college in KL... I SHOULD'VE! but i did not................ and i really really REGRET...

and i will regret...for my entire life.

please, don't ignore the chance of getting a good education just coz ur bf tell u its too far..

we are lucky, gwen. we are born with only 3 years of difference, and we could connect and understand each other, and we could rely on each other... unlike my friend, whose sister is too young to understand anything.

count the blessings God has showered on us... we are truly lucky.. to have the best mom on earth..

gwen, you know? no matter wat, i will alwiz have a soft spot for you?

but please dont pandai pandai use me ok! =_=

hime's woes~

2010-01-13T16:30:00.002+08:00

what to type wat to type?

i recently went to genting... kinda went there for a short vacation... which turned into a trip from nightmare!

first it was all good and fun... then came the horror, my bf is sick! then the situation got worse.

i had to sacrifice my urge to play the outdoor games.. to accompany him and taking care of him, practically...

then it got bad when so many misunderstandings we had! it was hard on me, and in the end i was forced to break up with him... somehow..

my heart wouldn't allow it... and i feel i should at least give him and myself some cool down time, as if we were to talk then it wouln't be a pretty sight.

i kinda ignored him for 2 days, giving him limited info on my whereabouts, and replying his smses only briefly (or in his view, heartless)... and soon, i decided to pack all my belongings back to my home.

i went there and thought that he would be alone, so its a great chance to talk. but... he was there with a friend, complaining about lotsa stuff bout me.

so i was awful pissed and just kept quiet and packed my stuff. i even bought him dinner, coz i knew he would be hungry by then. (see, i still love him!)

then in the end, i told him this could be over, he changed his mind suddenly and said.. lets try being "US" again...

i doubted myself that i could forget him anyway, and so i said okay, if it means u would change and try to understand me better. but i would make my decisions on my own.. he agreed.

hence, our rocky relationship is back to how it was, but one tiny difference. he would be more understanding towards me.. and it was nice seeing him so soft on me.

i really love this guy, more than any of my previous boyfriend. coz this guy treats me right.. just coz of misunderstandings in between... we were forced to almost-breakup. haih.

there's the cultural and religious difference in relationship for u. harder to compromise and even harder to understand.

i would give this another try. i hope i wont regret....

hime rants on... as usual!

2010-01-07T00:36:00.002+08:00

I wonder why i am in this situation. i don't think i am in love...

its more like... a LOVE+ HATE relationship with my bf now.

i kinda argue with him everyday. most things he says hurts to the bones in my body...
i am not allowed to say many things that i wanted to voice out.

for example,

shut up. just shut up already.
fuck you. you think u're such a genius?
damn, do you need to act like u know everything?
is everything i say such a bother to u that u need to screw me up like as though i am the almighty WRONG?!

kinda pissed with him almost everyday.

but i let it pass by me by ranting only on twitter, which updates my facebook status.. which means maybe the whole world knows by now.

but like who cares anyway.

hime complains!

2009-12-16T01:36:00.003+08:00

lotsa stuff happened lately. first, i got accepted into the free programme i wanted to go. but i got into a massive accident 3 days before leaving for KL.

this gave me goosebumps. brr. >.<

i wanted to go study... at least i would able to achieve some thing or rather. even though its just a programme... at least... i get a job via contract!

the injury i got from the accident were mere scratches here and there and big bumps and bruises. compared to the "injury" my bike has taken.... i should be considered dead or broken a limb or two by now.

everyone that saw the condition of my bike says the rider should be injured badly. but they were shocked to see me alive, well and broken limb-free... LOL!

bike shop uncle: wahhh i see ur bike... i think u KO ade lo! then i think, no blood on road... should be break leg break hand! (this is direct translation of hokkien....)

me: yes lo.. my bike damn rosak teruk....

bike shop uncle: YES LA! see the front rim become number 8 liao, see the picture with the car u hit also so chialat( meaning damn teruk_ =_=) i thought u really hurt bad! then now see u ok only! u lucky lo! damn HENG! (means lucky)

me: ya.... i am...

=_= was thinking sometimes i should just "go" there. =_= really negative of me, i know. haha!

i had a nightmare. that i am going to KL by bus and the bus flipped and overturned coz of an exploded tire! T_T i really was scared, coz i see myself all covered in blood and without a hand! T_T

seriously eerie and freaky.

now i am stuck here in boring bm. playing games to pass time and days and weeks and months....

without a proper job nor a goal for my future. i guess i gonna be a boring desperate housewife after all.

*thinking wat to do.*

NOOOOOO!!! i protest this sentance! T_T coz i really wanna be somebody my mother can be proud of......................................................

*still thinking wat to do.*

2mrw, ops 2day! 16th dec... is my mom's 46th birthday. so i gonna take her out for dinner.. hopefully.

with neither money nor money............ (money is damn important for this occasion!). =_= think i gotta ask for help.

so. who's gonna help me?

hime is angry!

2009-12-08T02:01:00.002+08:00

i damn fucking hate my bf's brother. fucker likes to complain shyt. and he likes to comment alot on how people should live in so called "his" house.

fuck u man, i never once touched ur fucking food, or eggs, or drinks or anything! cibai u still got the nerve to complain like as though this is ur house when u fully know its ur father's!

the damn asshole asked me to clean up his house coz its so messy. why is it messy? LET ME TELL YOU!

the cd racks are always messy, coz u are the one who watches DVDs and VCDs and not put them in order or nicely! u just chuck it on top of the freakin TV!

the toys are always scattered due to ur KIDS! they are the ones who don't learn to pick up after playin! call urself a good dad? YOU BEAT UR KIDS LIKE AS THOUGH THEY ARE PUNCH BAGS ASSHOLE! i hear them cry ALL THE TIME! and its fuckin annoying that YOU ARE YELLING SHYT TOO! ~d!$&*()@#*curses* i should record the way u whack them and send them to the welfare department. see how u would be punished u damn SICKO!

the WHOLE sofa is OCCUPIED by ur new JEANS in stacks that you wanna sell in pasar pagi or pasar malam!

clean ur house? CLEAN YOUR HOUSE? YOU THINK WAT!

CHAO MAHAI CHAO LANCIAO CHAO CIBAI!

i am ur WIFE ar? FUCKER! i am nOT even RELATED to u! fuck YOU!

complain much? GO SUCK UR OWN COCK!

damn you asshole freako. i hate you.

Hime admits!

2009-11-30T06:25:00.002+08:00

i am recently addicted to twitter. and also cabal online.

=_= yep i knw wat u gonna say. GAME FREAK! or as ryan higa said.. tweet whore =_+

its not my fault!~!!!! its tat lil box of 140 words tat gets to me! i just need to share some nonsense with the world!! LOL << this is giving myself stupid excuses.

i kinda update like a siao lang on frequent rants.. and duno how i got twitter linked to my facebook status. so there i am.. twittering like mad at twitter.com, and the status update in my facebook bings up like crazy! haha. i didn't realised until i opened my facebook and clicked on my profile.

and there i was, looking at a row of tweets. hahaha! some friends even commented! it was cool.
so i think i'd just leave it like tat. hehe.

happy that my lao gong is safe beside me, and i only have a few days to KL.... sad sad!

hime's randomness!

2009-11-28T18:02:00.002+08:00

my mind is completely blank. i want so many things that i was forced to block it off my mind before i cry in desperation to my mother.

i feel so.... troubled all the time. my sister depends on me so much but i just can't be there even if i wanted to.

i feel so lost sometimes i am going crazy.
i just wonder why am i feeling so lousy when everything seems find and nice actually?!

wat the hell. i am doing something i told myself that i shouldn't do.

kinda hooked to twitter. LOL!

hime is!!

2009-11-25T16:40:00.003+08:00

JEALOUS!!!!!!!!

T_T

i cant take good photos. even if i do, i would look like a malay, indon, bangla, siamese, vietnamese... whatever.... i will never look pretty.

ugh. why why why why why!

i kinda like taking pictures of myself but i never dared to post it without thinking twice! coz i might not look like myself and i might not look like what i wanted it to look like!!! T_T

i am damn jealous of my sister. she takes good photos with half the effort. she doesn't even need to photoshop anything. she doesn't need the editing. T_T

*cries* i really wanna be at least a bit photogenic. damn those accumulated fats!

i think i am going to be thinner once i stay in kl. coz the lack of penang food there.... haha!
half-heartedly willing to go kl actually. but this is for my future. i wanna gain something in life. so this is the journey i have to take.

i am typing this super fast coz i am suppose to be somewhere now. and i came all the way home to bathe and smoke (must cut down) and tweet and blog. *laughs*

wish... i could look good. for once.

Hime GONE

2009-11-24T16:56:00.002+08:00

MAD!

not as in psycho mad but mad... MAD!!!!!! ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!! geddit....

i really dun like some peeps that just just JUST RUINS MY DAY!

i understand i gotta be responsible and all but i do keep promises.

i said i'll pay... MEANING I WILL PAY!!!!!!!!!!!

please, for the love of God, and yourself, be patient and come meet me when i said i am free.

WHEN I AM NOT FREE, WHY ARE U CALLING ME!

ass. i really wanna enjoy the movie with my beloved lao gong.

butttt nO! my phone keeps ringing and ringing and ringing!

i really wanted to throw the phone at the couple that keep on kicking on my chair. assholes and bitches.

i already asked nicely to stop kicking the chair... but noooo........! he still does it! wonder why!

damn. stomach cramps. and stomach ache.

*dashes to the loo*

ok i am back. the thing is, i really really feel upset.ugh. maybe the period is making me go haywire. i really want to apologize to some people.

sorry james and ronald. our friendship wil be different from now on.

never will i seek for ur help ever again.

you know...

2009-11-19T02:20:00.001+08:00

the more i see this anime called "lucky star" yea, type tat in the youtube search tab! the more i am into this anime!~~~

ITS SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love the blue haired shorty called Izumi, she's sooo into gaming and anime. haha!

totally random post.

looking forward for my ang pao(s)......... i m gonna be 21 soon. =_=

sigh..

2009-11-16T23:46:00.001+08:00

I wonder how my sis is getting along. haven't talked to her in days. like 2 days to be exact.

hmm..., oh well.

guess she just needs time to understand. =/

haihzzzz................... Z_Z

2009-11-14T02:47:00.002+08:00

i am soooo disappointed with myself.

i am angry at my sister's bf. HE are one life-ruiner. the relationship between me and my sister would not be the same ever again.

i would rather that she haven't met this so called "love of her life". =/ she is definately walking on the same thorned road that i suffered through.

and dare say that guy controls her but protect her at the same time!

let me "show" u how he "protects" her.

no guys is ever allowed to be by her side.
no guy friends are allowed to go in the house if he is not around to witness the guy stepping in the house.
basically no going anywhere (outings and makans) with any of her guy friends.
totally cut off from the social connections of our various guy friends that we knew for years.
this current bf actually "murdered" this huge bear that is a present from her ex bf.
no way he would allow her to join in any of our usual pasar malam activities, needless to say, she will be counted absent in any of our planned outings.

you call this PROTECTING?

then the dictionary explanation is going down the drain.

gosh....

2009-11-12T15:29:00.002+08:00

I wanna write something super interesting. but i am treating this blog like my personal twitter that no one sees =_=

hahahaha.

i actually have a super massive bad temper. sometimes i am afraid of myself. because of my temper i actually broke 2 phones. and both of em isn't mine....

hohohohohohoho...

i recently have this seriously uncontrollable temper. i blow up super easily. i couldn't control what happens after i am at my peek.

i pratically destroyed my room the other day. lol. yup i am damn ganas.

i can't understand why i am a girl. arent i suppose to be a boy?

why everyone asks me why i look like a girl but attitude is totally guy-ish?

guy trapped in a girl's body??? o_O

even my mom doesn't know what to do. huhuhu. i sadden her alot.

but oh well, whats done is done................................ hopefully..lao gong can "tame" me.

2009-11-12T15:17:00.000+08:00

OH THANK GOD!

my laogong actually called. thank god. now i have help. fuh~~~

2009-11-12T15:04:00.001+08:00

FUK FUK FUK!!!!!!!!!!!!

my phone is barred again =_= and i can't call people to fetch me now. ASS

HOW STUPID CAN I BE!

you know...

2009-11-10T12:44:00.002+08:00

Miracles happens for a reason. they always say. things happens for a reason, they like to say.

but people change....... without reason!

i wonder what happened to all those nice times... its completely gone.
my friends... that used to be so close...... can't they come back anymore?

for happiness....
now i depend alot on lao gong.... because of him i am happy... but wat happens if i had a fight with him?? >.<

seriously, i really feel God is playing a cruel game with me. bless me a thing and take away another. why God. WHY?!!!!

tell me why i gotta go through all these crap? why do i even need to care? why is my heart being soft when i should be hard hearted??? why bless me like this and give me these situations!

i really am going nutso. i am talkin to myself on a blog that nobody reads but me. =_=

hey.

2009-11-06T19:39:00.001+08:00

guess wat.

i saw someone at a mamak the other day.

and guess wat. she just walks right pass me! without even saying hi, or even bother to look at me.

once we were such close friends. but now, its gone forever.

damn the thought of it is making me feel down all of a sudden.

my bf says he saw her letting go her current bf's hands as fast as she could.

fuck it. i should just forget this so called friendship.

dear hime....

2009-11-05T21:30:00.002+08:00

read these properly....

to my self.

*slaps self* wake up u idiot.

to my inner soul.

i know you are feeling down and low all the time. where has ur confidence gone to?

to my mind.

SET URSELF STRAIGHT. YOU ARE OKAY NOW. HAPPY. get it? HAPPY!!!!

to my eyes.

please, for the love of your own body,mind and soul, ignore the sight of assholes.

ugh.
the reason for all these "notes" to self is i saw somebody i dun wanna see. and becoz i saw him, it made me go wondering alot of useless stuffs that i don't need.

boost my confidence. boost confidence. be confident.

U KNOW WATS

2009-10-27T23:56:00.004+08:00

FUNNY!

i am at Ipoh. and guess wat. i am using THE INTERNET at a SUPER popular cyber cafe at Ipoh, Infinity.

i came all the way to Ipoh to go online. buh.

but its kinda nice also here. very "lao juak" in hokkien. **meaning** crowded.

the difference between my favourite cyber cafe *in short CC* in BM!!

Infinity: has TOO MANY computers to count!
BlueNet: just a few ones, its a small shop after all!

Infinity: HAS NO FUCKING HEADPHONES. @_@ u can't even watch porn coz everyone will hear the moanings!!! HAHAHAHA who dares anyway at this HUGE place!
BlueNet:Has good headphones now to give u that needed privacy. u get to watch porn without people knowing. tee hee!

Infinity: U get to use a SUPER wide screen to your liking. u practically gotta see left to right. everything is longer. even this blogging space.
BlueNet: Has a square screen that my lao gong loves.small and easy to the eyes rather than here. @_@ even my neck hurts a bit now.

Infinity: has a crappy line. connects too slow. maybe coz of the overloaded number of PC. they even need to seperate it by zones. should be around 200 pc working in here.
BlueNet: has about 50 pc, but the lines are not really stable as well. hehe. but at least! kinda better than Vista or Vnet =_=

so tats about it. i am actually blogging about CC =_=

hahaha. kinda like a mini holiday with lao gong! ^_^ kinda happy!

Hime's Heart revealed//Part II

2009-10-25T18:34:00.005+08:00

Dedications~~

For mom...

For My sister... we only have each other... I love you to bits!

For my Best friends *note i said "friends", not "friend"!coz i really got many great friends!*

And THE ONE i love... Jacky Teh....^_^

Dear... you really complete me.

~Hime's Heart revealed// part I~

2009-10-22T13:19:00.003+08:00

i wonder when would i write a seriously meaningful post that would tear up anyone who reads it.

hmm. maybe i should just write from the heart.

i miss my friends. though i stay in contact with a few, but i have lost those that i thought were meaningful to me, and maybe, i wouldn't get them back in the same way ever again.

school was so much fun, carefree, lesser changes, everyone seems equal.
once reality and growth kicks in... we were transformed. some goes haywire, wrong even.. some go far, to achieve dreams and goals... while some stayed back, to be with loved ones.

i... stayed.

i miss being so....cruel. i dont give a shyt what others think of me, neither do i fucking bother what they wanna say or comment of me. i wouldn't think its the end of the world if someone judges me... and i wont think twice if i had strongly decided on something. i feel much more secure and confident of myself, and i never doubted or regret any of my decisions.

i am the wildest amongst my friends. i was the most guy-ish tomboy girl wannabe among them. i was the one who do not give a fuck about studies, (only study when it is closing on to the exam date) and i was the one who boast just about anything.

YET!!!

ridiculously, many come to me to pour out their hearts content... those secrets that they cant tell anyone else, and those secrets that i promised to keep.. will be brought to the grave.

those people who knew me then... would prove whatever i say.

but what happened to the anastasia then....? still flying high? still so proud? still happy?

no.NO.NO!

whenever i browse through friends on facebook... (i got like 500+ friends, and i go through their profiles one by one)..i see them married, having kids, having a different bf, being somewhere far, achieving their dreams, goals... happily living their life, oblivious to my existance.

why do i even bother to go look what happens in their life when no one bothered what happens to mine??? stupid me. *slaps self*

at last, i am just a lonely hime.... i only have a handful of friends and a very good bf and my family now... the rest... seems history.

the hime speaks...again~

2009-10-18T23:07:00.002+08:00

HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!! its bout time the HIME speaks again!

and thank god for all the great blessing he showers upon me!!!!

working had me going. had me going totally MAD. >.< BoNkErSSSS i tell YOU!!!!

i beging my "activity" again, which i am supposed to quit it......but it helps me relax!

and working in an f & b line is not all its cracked up to be. but i will perservere!

these few days i am freaking out for no particular reason. i am seeing people that i do not expect or wish to see.

for a GREAT example, MY EX. *wanted to call him a stupid ass but hey, i am kind.*

WHYYYY couldn't i just NOT see people that i do not wanna see??? >.>

another person is the one that i liked before my current bf. it didn't work out, and i knew it wouldn't anyway. but it hurts to see him happily with other chicks too, when he said i was special to him.... and made me keep his darkest secrets that it seems only he, his parents and i know.

=_= i think i being dumb to believe that he likes me anyway.LOL. okay okay i am over it~~~

huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuuhuhuhu i wanna be working my profession~~~~

sad sad sad.

~H!Me~is back!

2009-10-03T23:29:00.003+08:00

oh hohohohoho *evil laugh*

i am back again. this time, i am working............. again.

haha. and i am gonna keep it a secret. but i loved the new workplace. though its busy, and there is many customers to serve.. though the rules are quite strict as well... i am happy there...

why?

simply, coz of the staffs there!

all are so cheerful, optimistic and helpful.. though they are mostly malays! *note i am not racist*

and plain simply coz of that, my current workplace is much much better than the previous!
i am a part-timer though. dun really wanna work all the time.. was planning some interesting fashion development with my precious princess time. WAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHA

i am so much happier nowadays, though i have a few arguments with my bf~~~
the fact that he showed me so much love... i am overwhelmed and am swept off my feet...

oh is he THE ONE~~~ *mind flies to wild imagination of getting married on the beach*

ahhhhhh~~ i am so blissfully happy. ^_^

bless my HiMe soul~ thank GOD for all the good stuff He is showering me with..

~*[A]nn[H]ime*~

the RANDOM word vomit.

i dunno wat title to put.

Genting Trip 23/8 to 26/8~~

I realise, many ppl actually used to look up to me...

Now... 11/7/2011~~~

just another day, another worry

just be friends~~ lalalala~

post number 241....

haha...

no matter how i write of u...

hime's dream....

hime... is a guy?

hime is downright depressed.

dear pretender....

hohoho~~

truthfully...

............... why oh why....

omg. i am so angry!!!!

well, i got smth to say as well...

come to think of it...

=_=|||

hime laughs~

hime wishes....

inconvenience.... becomes a pain in the ass.

this is the real hell!

the decision is final!

oh no...

hime is sad...

our kuroshitsuji cosplay.. ^^ CF 2010!

又来？

很久没有用华语BLOG

i wonder why...

hmm...

=________=

yesterday... u are gone...

:@

My fluffy bunny

Da sisters of shinigami~

The virtual Hime.

Cute butterfly lantern!

Faces of Hime..

Poem from Hime....

This is wat...

=_= Wtf.

Delicious temptation..

there...

Being vain..,Hehehehehe

The most important moment....

The picture says it all ^^

A journey through time..

Its not bout how much we love each other...

I dedicate this to my lao gong.. ^^

Cousin's wedding

This is wat i like.

I'd tell you...but you gotta find out...

Ah... There goes my shoes..

Cute right?

Wow

A key chain my hubby bought for me!

hime is gonna work...

huh.

Hime....is a tree...

first time... posting pictures..

Hime's ^^

Hime... is.. on... FIRE!!!!!

Hime talks solemnly....

Hime continues....

hime is back....agaiN!

hime rants on!

Another Day...

Hime's....

~Hime~ to Sora(or Grell =_=)

hime's woes~

hime rants on... as usual!

hime complains!

hime is angry!

Hime admits!

hime's randomness!

hime is!!

~[A]nn[H]ime~

~Hime's Heart revealed// part I~